Maybe you have found yourself being defensive over what others have said? Do you respond to comments and go upon you to ultimately prove that you're right?
This tactic only ever causes us to be feel vulnerable, insecure and small. It is an experience that will inevitably bring us to either binge or restrict our intake of food. Either way, we lose when we cannot overcome overeating.
Let us take time for you to explore what triggers these eating disorders for you by examining your behaviour pattern.
Be familiar with when:
1. You are feeling like you happen to be put on the defensive (you're being attacked or judged by others).
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2. You are suddenly anxious or feeling insecure with someone.
3. You are feeling enjoy having to have the "right" answer on the fly.
4. You hear yourself explaining your reasons for certain choices, actions or beliefs inside a tone other than peaceful and chill.
5. You hear yourself justifying your behaviour; arguing regarding your rightness; rather than just acknowledging this didn't work with the other person or that you dropped the ball, forgot, or chose not to follow-through.
Whenever you notice these indicators of defensiveness and excuse making, begin by stop talking, if you are in mid-sentence. Little one the problem as quickly as possible.
Then take a seat with you pen and paper or lap top/ipad/etc. and get yourself the following questions:
1. What exactly are you telling yourself with regards to you vs. that person/situation? Exactly what do they've or know that you do not?
2. Is there really a right along with a wrong? They may think so, but do you have to accept them? Can't both of you be right?
3. What do you know that led you to definitely think or become you probably did? What do they feel or know that led these to judge that or think and become they did? What was operator inside it and just what was yours? Could you own your behalf if you don't take all of the responsibility? Can you simply say, "You know, I was thinking about X and I can easily see what you mean...." And let go of whether they own their bit or otherwise. You realize your behalf has been taken care of; you probably did the adult thing; and also you realize that it wasn't whatever you, that the perspective had validity too.
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4. Defensiveness signifies that you are feeling anxious since you believe you need that person's approval and you believe that you're not setting it up or otherwise getting it. Are you able to forget about needing their agreement or approval to become able to see the truth in your perspective? If they never ever saw "it" the right path, would you still be in your actions based on your point of view at the time?
5. Defensiveness implies that you've given yourself just two options - the right path or their way. Explore how you might make room for. What truth can you get in their perspective? What truth are you able to find in yours?
6. What solution would you come to that fits the requirements of all parties? Never agree to something that doesn't meet your needs. If you can't take action that meets your requirements in addition to theirs in some way, under your control would be to yourself first and the both of you are going to have to accept take care of your personal needs in cases like this. (This really is exceptionally rare! Maybe one situation in 100.)
Review your answers and explore your ideas in reaction to some situation that triggered some insecurity or defensiveness for you personally.
Remember, your use of food to cope and your body image stress are inextricably linked to the way you are planning in these or similar situations. The greater you understand what triggers your eating disorder, the less you'll need to engage in restriction (dieting, anorexia), binging (overeating) or purging. You can learn to recover out of your eating disorder.